More Skits

Ever since I posted those smaller skits, I got in the mood to post more skit related objects. So here, read part of one of my skits, The Annie Horror Picture Show.


(A stormy hill with a large, dark tower appears. It is a winding path up to the front gate. Viktor Krum is caught in the storm and thinks that after what he's been through, a dragon, rapid mermaids, the Imperious curse, and insane fan girls, he could survive a night or two in the tower. He knocks on the door and goes inside.)

Phantom- *at organ* Hey, will one of three get the door?

Annabelle- *turns into a bat* Sure. Wow, I really love this place you let us stay in, phantom.

Phantom- Anytime. Now get the door, please.

Annabelle- Aye aye! *Flies down to the door*

(It is now a long, dark corridor)

Annabelle- Whoooo gooooes theeeeerrrrrre?

Viktor- Um, me.

Annabelle- Do you consider this wise, boy? Coming into a haunted tower?

Viktor- Are there fan girls?

Annabelle- Yes.

Viktor- *moment of thought* nope, I consider this very unwise.

Annabelle- correct. Follow me for more unwiseness.

Viktor- All right. (In head- Oh drat, what have I gotten myself into now?)

(Viktor is lead to the same organ room. Phantom, Maya, and Quinn are awaiting to
see who it is)

Phantom- Well?

Annabelle- 'Tis none but Viktor Kru-

Quinn- EEEEKKK! VIKTOR! *Hugs Viktor and doesn't let go*

Viktor- Why me? Why, why, WHY me?

Annabelle- *turns back to human and tears Quinn off* He's MINE! I saw him first!

Phantom- Girls! You'll have to share!

Viktor- Phantom, I thought you cared!

Phantom- Oh, did I just do something bad?

Viktor- Sorta. *shakes Quinn off*

Phantom- Sorry.

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(A beautiful lady with pale skin, a white dress, a veil, and dark, curly brown hair enters the tower. She looks haunting.)

Christine- Geez, it's cold out there! If only Raoul didn't decide to take a healthy walk instead of taking the carriage. Speaking of, where is Raoul?

(Raoul is creeping up behind Christine. He is also pale.)

Raoul- BOO!

Christine- Oh, there you are, Raoul. Good thing Phantom built his summer home here, or else we would have frozen.

Raoul- If he'd moved to Hawaii, we wouldn't freeze anyway!

Christine- Whatever. Let's go greet them. (They try and find their way)

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(Everyone else makes their way into the castle, Raoul is eating a sandwich. They are in the organ room, holding Annabelle and Maya back.)

Phantom- Well, I'm going off to find some more pillows. Taa taaa! *goes out for five seconds* Waaaaait and minute! Where are my keys!

Raoul- *crying* Me ated them!

Phantom- Raoul!!!! Wait, calm down Erik. In...out....in...out. All right, we're all stranded, Violet doesn't have the right stuff to make an invention quite yet, so we're all locked in here for a month or two. We have plenty of food and junk to eat
and drink, and pillows in the basement along with blankets. Everyone calm?

Crowd- Yes!

Viktor- No!

Klaus- As I read in your book, you're supposed to be unafraid of everything. What's
gotten into you?

Viktor- If you had rabid fan girls, you'd be like this, too.

Klaus- Oh, so THAT'S it! Maya, would you please help Viktor out?

Viktor- *hopeful smile*

Maya- Oh, all right. *grabs a picture from corner* Oh Quiiiiiiinnnnnn! Oh
Annabeeeeeelllllllleeeee! Lookie what I got! (It's an arrange of photos of Viktor Krum)

Annabelle- Oh, 7 Viktors at ONCE! *jumps off Viktor and pushes Quinn to side*

Quinn- NOOOO! Gimme, gimme, GIMME!

Maya- Go and get it! *throws photo down the stairs*

A&Q- OOOOHHHHHH! *they run down the stairs, unaware that they are running on a
treadmill.*

Viktor- Thanks.

Maya- Anytime.

Phantom- AHEM!

Maya- Yes, Phantom dearest?

Phantom- so, are we all calm?

Crowd- Yes!

Phantom- Good. Now, the rest of you sneak past Annabelle and Quinn to the basement.
You'll get blankets and pillows and set the tower rooms up. Viktor, come with me.
You'll probably want a hidden room.

Viktor- Oh, yes I would. *shivers*

Phantom- All righty. Maya, could you grab and extra set from the basement?

Maya- surely! *rushes down*

Phantom- Thank you. Now, this way, please....*leads Viktor up a winding staircase*

(Everyone has their rooms set up and arranged just like when Phantom invited them all to his lair hotel, but Viktor's room is nowhere to be seen. It's at the end of the hallway, behind a painting.)

(Dinnertime. It's a long, dark dining room with a huge table and regal dark oak wood chairs. Raoul has a booster seat and plastic over it.)

Phantom- (At head of table) Well, since we are locked in here *glares at Raoul* I couldn't order pizza. On the other hand, I did manage to-

Raoul- PIZZA! I WANT PIZZA!

Phantom- Too bad. Well, Sunny decided to help me out, and we decided to do our very our buffet for Chinese carryout! Complete with boxes and little cookies. So come on up and get something!

(Everyone goes through the buffet that is laid out on the table. They fill their tall crystal glasses with water.)

Raoul- But....there's no pretty pictures on this! It's not even plastic! I want a
plastic cup with a kitty cat on it!!!!!! *shatters glass*

Phantom- Raoul, you BETTER not throw a fit at this dinner!

Raoul- Try and stop me! *goes on floor kicking and screaming*

Phantom- *trying to me mature and calm* All right, maybe we should stop the entree and eat our fortune cookies, shall we?

Crowd- Sure.

Phantom- All right...*everyone cracks their cookie open* anyone want to share their cheap yet so mystical fortune?

Klaus- I will. *pulls fortune* "You will learn that learning is learniful" Hey, who wrote this?

Raoul- MEEEE! *looks proud*

Klaus- Um, swell.

Violet- "Invent a happy song to be a happy person."

Sunny- Gediasasierufdadk! ("Biting is bad." Hey!)

Maya- "You will learn to appreciate a vicomte's good looks." Well, that's a rip-off.

Quinn- "You shall never get Viktor but shall be content with a guy named Hector." WAAAAHHHH! *runs off crying*

Annabelle- "You shall also never get Viktor but shall love Ricktor." Ricktor isn't even a name! *follows Quinn, crying*

Viktor- "you shall be surrounded by your public fans at all hours." Oh, great, JUST what I needed!

Christine- "You simply must like the writer of this note and not some guy in a mask." How rude!

Meg- "We with therefore cast you as the pageboy and put me in the role of countess." Ugh....

Mme. Giry- "My salary is due." Hey, this isn't a fortune!

Harry- "You will eat pie in five hours." Hey, that's fine with me!

Ron- "You have ugly hair (Unlike mine)." I do not!

Lydia- "You will have an urge to eat purple olives." Ew!

Hermione- "All people will learn how to pronounce your name, Herm-i-won." Cheap!

Phantom- "If these fortunes are not met, a disaster beyond your imagination will occur." That's my line!

Raoul- "You are a stupid vicomte who cares only for his petticoat and hair. And his frocks and dresses." I didn't write that! Who did it? I'm so offended!

Phantom- Sorry, I couldn't resist!

Raoul- Uh! It takes time to keep my dresses in good shape!

Phantom- Dinner is over. Everyone leave! Now! Go!!!!!!!

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(Annabelle is prowling the hallways. She is in a white, torn and stained gown, beat up black slippers, a torn veil, and has had extensions. Her hair is looks black. Her skin in pale.)

Annabelle- Oooh, ooh, ohh....

Viktor- *wakes up and opens door to see who it is* Who, what, when, where?

Annabelle- Ooh....*takes Viktor's hand*

Viktor- No, thank you, I'll be going- (Annabelle has a very strong grip. He is lead up to the highest tower where you see phantom at an organ.)

Annabelle- (hoarse voice) Let the music begin!

Phantom- Yes, of course. *almost hits keys of organ.*

Annabelle- *dances with Viktor*

Phantom- *Hits keys. Instead of dramatic music starting, he hears baseball field music. Doesn't stop for a few minutes.* wait a minute, THIS isn't how I left my organ! *face turns red* RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLL!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raoul- Yeeeees?

Phantom- Time out chair. NOW!

Raoul- *pitches temper tantrum* I hate you! I don't wanna go to time out chair!!!!!!

Phantom- Don't make me do it by force! Go to the time out chair, or else!

Raoul- Or else, WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!?

Phantom- *hangs Raoul's fairy princess costume over the fire* Or else you'll never be Tinkerbell again!

Raoul- NO! My costume!

Phantom- DO IT!

Raoul- FINE! *sits in time out chair*

Annabelle- *fake hair color, extensions, voice box, and shoes fall off to show her real her. Her gown and veil sag off, reveiling Annabelle in her pajamas.* *looks at Viktor* ha, ha, hi....

Viktor- *turns and heads towards room*

Phantom- Well, I'm done for today. Come on, Raoul, you can have your costume back. Annabelle, it's past your bedtime.

Annabelle- Yes, phantom....

Phantom- and past YOUR bedtime, Raoul.

Raoul- (In Tinkerbell outfit) Already? But I'm not sweepy! I'm not sweep-*falls asleep on phantom's foot*

Phantom- (Stuck) Nice.


(It is breakfast time. Same dining hall, a bit lighter)

Phantom- Same story as last night. Cereal buff. i think you people can manage to understand how to work it.

(Everyone grabs cereal stuff. Raoul looks deep in his personal box of Lucky Charms.)

Raoul- There's....there's no prize in this cereal box!

Christine- Too bad.

Raoul- I wanted the Mickey Mouse toy! RAOUL WANT TOY! *grabs everyone else's cereal. He tears the box, sees if there's a prize, and chucks the empty box over his shoulder. They all land on Viktor.*

Viktor- That was bond to happen someday. (Hit in the face with a grapefruit) So was that. (Same with a melon) and that. (watermelon) And thaaaa....*faints*

Phantom- stop this madness! There's a huge pile of cereal and a mess of fruit that Raoul oh-so rudely threw on Viktor. Who's still hungry?

crowd- Not me, I'm full....(so on and so forth)

Phantom then let's leave the mess for a minute and talk of our troubles here. Viktor, you go first. But we must express ourselves creatively, so please sing your feelings.

Viktor- *flicks a speck of grapefruit from his eyebrow and begins* "Nobody likes me, *glares at Raoul*
Everyone one hates me. *Annabelle and Quinn look shocked.*
I don't like my only fans." *glances* "except Hermione."

Phantom- Very well said. Does anyone have any ideas for making our little tower less of a torture chamber and more of a, um, non-torture chamber?

Annabelle and Quinn- *exchange glances and smile. Raise their hand*

Phantom- Yes?

A&Q- Ahem!

"Prima donna,
Dear Viktor on the stage,
your devotes are on their knees to implore you." *they get on their knees*
"Can you bow out when they're shouting your name?"

Crowd- VIKTOR!

A&Q- "Think of how they all adore you.
Prima Donna, enchant us once again!
Thing of your muse,
And of your queues round the theatre!
Can you deny us the triumph in store?
Sing, Prima Donna once !" (shoving Viktor onto head of table as a stage.)

Viktor- I really don't sing- (hit in back)
"Prima donna your song shall live again
You took a snub but there's a public who needs you!
Think of their cry of undying support !
Follow where the limelight leads you!

Prima Donna your song shall never die,
You'll sing again, and for unending ovation!
Think how you'll shine in that final encore!
Sing, prima donna, once more!"

Annabelle and Quinn- Who'd believe us divas happy to relieve our Viktor Krum
Who's been target of the patron?
Raoul and the soubrette, entwined in toy's duet!
Although he may demur, getting a toy will occur.
Christine must be protected!
fortunata!
Non ancor abbandonata!
You'd never get away with all this in a play,
but if it's loudly sung and in a foreign tongue
it's just the sort of story audiences adore, in fact a perfect opera!

Whole room- Prima donna the world is at your feet!
A nation waits, and how it hates to be cheated!
Light up the stage with that age old rapport!
Sing, prima donna, once more!

Raoul- So, it is to be war between us! If these demands are not met,
a disaster beyond your imagination will occur!

Room- Once more!

Viktor- You know, I feel a lot better now. But with me and my lacking of opera knowledge...what's a Prima Donna, anyway?

Annabelle- a person who sang before Madonna.

Viktor- You sure?

Annabelle- No, but who cares?

Maya- Annabelle! How could you not care! *clears throat* Prima Donna: A singular noun for a first or principal female singer of an opera company. a temperamental person; a person who takes adulation and privileged treatment as a right and reacts with petulance to criticism or inconvenience. It originated from Italy, where it began as first lady. The words began from prime and duenna. Last but not least,prima is the feminine version of the Italian word primo, which means first, combined with donna, which means lady. So there you have it. Any questions?

Crowd- *speechless*

Viktor- Ew, you two called me a SOPRANO?

Maya- They did, because as we know, Carlotta was the Prima Donna and she as the leading soprano for five seasons. Don't worry, Viktor. I know tons of guys who are sopranos who are your age. I mean, they're just......12 years younger than you are....

Viktor- *groans*

Phantom- All righty, I think we're all settled with our problems. Anyone have anything else they need to talk about?

Raoul- I didn't get a prize in my cereal box! sing me a song for that!

Phantom- No, thanks. We'll pass. Breakfast is over; everyone, back to your rooms! I did a little remodeling, so now it's a giant dorm with each of you getting your same room. It just has a big parlor in the middle.
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(In the girl's dorm)
Annabelle- Whew! I really nailed that song, didn't I?

Meg- *giggle* Yeah, you did. Did you see Viktor's face when he realized he was being called a soprano? THAT was priceless.

Hermione- Yeah, that song was great!

Quinn- We really did sing it well. We got a bit shaky with "Entwined in toy's duet" but we wanted to get the pictures of getting the bobblehead and throwing fruit more than....what's in the real lyrics.

Christine- True.

Mme. Giry- Girls! are you gossiping?

Meg- No, mom, we're just talking.

Mme. Giry- All right, I'm off to the poll room. Phantom promised me a round of best two out of three!

Meg- Cool! (her mom leaves) Hey, let's gossip!

Annabelle- Raoul's so weird. So is Harry, sometimes.

Hermione- He has his moments, I agree.

Maya- Did you see Paris Hilton's new outfit? Talk about cute!

(They all talk)

(In the guy's dorm)

Viktor- It's like they're always staring at me. They never go away. It's really creepy.

Harry- Ick, sounds awful.

Klaus- That was me with Count Olaf, except he wanted to murder me.

Ron- Not good.

Raoul- *holding Barbie* Does Wendy's hair look prettyful enough?

Ron- Nobody cares, Raoul.

Raoul- Yay, she's so pritty! I'm going to dress just like her! *grabs suitcase and heads towards dressing room)

(They talk for a few more minutes)

Harry- I really wonder what Raoul meant when he said he wanted to-

Raoul- SUPRISE!!!!! (He's in a Cinderella dress, a Cinderella wig, and has a lot of blush and mascara on. He's also wearing cheap high heels) Who will be my Prince charming, hmm? Ah, you! *points at Viktor*

Viktor- And when I thought my problems were over with....*shudders and runs to room. Locks door*

Skittler, noun, one who writes skits for fun or profit

My friend Karen just wrote her first two skits. I wrote two to get her started, one of Billy martin and I and one of Joel Madden and her. (They are simple 2-character shorts, but they are rather funny)

Here are mine:

Billy- *pout on his face, head lowered-Doesn't anybody love me? Anybody like me? I'm over here, poor neglected me

Annabelle- *runs over and hugs Billy* Everyone else can have Joel!

Annabelle- Oh, yeah, and have this! *pulls out 25 cent plastic ring*

Annabelle- *on one knee*-will you marry me William Dean Martin, hottest guy in Good Charlotte in my opinion?

Billy- Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...

Annabelle- I'll throw in wedding fees.

Billy- Done!


Karen- *clear throat* Ah-he-HEM! Joel Reuben Madden, would you take I, Karen, to be your wife?

Joel -Well, I don't know....I'm already engaged to someone who has been in jail several times, done drugs and made me dye my hair like Cruela deVil....*sobs* MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!

Karen- Never fear! I can color your hair in black washable marker until we can get you to a beauty salon and you can get your lovely hair back to the original shade. My treat.

Joel- Really? That's so nice! Nicole would have made me pay for it.....*clears throat* Karen, do you take me, Joel Madden, to be your husband?

Karen- Let me think about it....hmmmm.....OK!


And here are Karen's:

Joel-Okay, ladies calm down. I'm going to pick one of you out of the crowd to come and ask me one question eeny meani miney mo(after he says all that)...you!

Karen- yes!

Joel- what's your name?

Karen- Karen

Joel- what's your question?

Karen- *on one knee, opens little box with 25 cent rig inside* Joel Madden, will you marry me? The ring is gold

Joel- *picks up ring* this is plastic

Karen- I was on short notice. Anyway Do you except?

Joel- Uhh...

Karen- I can cover everything for the wedding! I'll even buy you a real ring for the wedding!

Joel- Done!

Girls in crowd- Nooo!!!

Me- Yay me! *claps hands like London and throws arms around Joel and gives him a big bear hug*

Joel- Wow, who knew I was so loved?


Billy- Hey does anyone want my autograph? *hears girls chanting Joel* I guess nobody likes me...

Annabelle- I do Billy! *runs under safety bar and races over and hugs Billy* I love you!

Billy- Yay! I'm loved by someone!

Annabelle- Can I ask you a question?

Billy- Sure

Annabelle: *down on one knee, takes out box with plastic ring inside* Will you, Billy Martin, marry me?

Billy- uhhhhhh....

Annabelle- I'll cover the wedding plans. I'll even let you draw a big cartoon posters to hang up at the wedding!

Billy- Oh my god! YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL, GIRL!!!!

Annabelle- Yay me! and Billy! *trys to hug Billy and pick him up and is too short* uhh, a little help please?

Billy- oh, sorry! *Billy picks up Annabelle and swings her around*
Annabelle- WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Random girl- Hey look! It's Billy!

Annabelle- Oh no!

Billy- *GASP* Danger is a foot! Quick! To the Billymobile! Away! * grabs Annabelle and takes off running*

*James bond music starts playing*


Personally, I like hers better--- and it's her first try!

I'm looking forward to seeing more of her work, because personally, I think it's downright hilarious.